Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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