Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Panties = found
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
