Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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