I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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