Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
