It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
