I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
