Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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