we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize