Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
