I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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