I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
