So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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