it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
