IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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