is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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