its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
