so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
