My balls are so social today.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
