I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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