Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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