did you get engaged???
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
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you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
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I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.