i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.