Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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