You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole