I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
