It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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