handjob tips. give me some.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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