I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Success! We fucked roommates!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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