Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
