When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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