Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
