I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
