she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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