she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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