True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Be still, my beating vagina.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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