need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
