We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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