i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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