Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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