I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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