Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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