Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
