What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
