going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
