I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Drunk is not a location!
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