are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
