There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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