i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
