Dual....:-)
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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