I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
