I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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