fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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