I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
