when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
