can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
