i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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