i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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