I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
