I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
