You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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