East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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