Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
PANTIES FOUND
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