Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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